Tall, handsome, washboard abs, educated, perfect teeth, sweet, a lot of money, family oriented, and HAS TO BE FUNNY. So many people create a list in their heads describing the perfect partner, but are you of equivalent measures? Living in Miami, I am exposed to many superficial and materialistic people who tend to base their decisions for a partner on appearances. However, they seem to forget that appearances are just that…surface area. Apps like Tinder and Bumble, although they have some benefits, are contributors to a world dependent on instant gratification and sex appeal.
I am a firm believer in mental connection being essential to a relationship and that chemistry is something deeper than sexual attraction. I would be lying if I said I don’t want my partner to be physically attractive, but at the same time I do what I can to keep myself presentable as well. Being that I was a professional athlete and stay very active even now, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wouldn’t join me on a hike or a basketball game. Physical attraction can mean a multitude of things but if your checklist doesn’t reflect things that you hold yourself accountable for then your requirements are irrelevant.
Do you want an educated partner? Open a book, go to school, and hold meaningful conversations. Do you want a person who is fit? Get your ass in the gym too. Do you want to be with someone who is family oriented? Nurture the relationship with yours first because I can guarantee a person who is family oriented won’t want to be with someone whose family is dysfunctional. Funny? Have a good sense of humor. You cannot ask something of someone that you don’t value within yourself. That is just hypocritical and frankly unrealistic.
I have been in many different relationships in the past and the successful ones always had one thing in common: similar values. Relationships do not work if there are polar opposite principles. I do believe that very different people can have a wonderful long-standing relationship, I’ve been in one, but if you do not share and respect the same core standards then the relationship is set for a crash course.
If you want to have a set of standards for those you surround yourself with, by all means do so, but make sure that you are someone who is good company as well. Being a good person tells me more of your character than your appearance ever will.
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Great post. I’m starting to do some work on defining my values in therapy and this was a good read. Thank you. 🙂
You’re welcome love!
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